Dzieci na frontach rodzicielskich wojen
Children on the Fronts of Parental Wars

Summary/Abstract: Aim. The issues taken up in the research focus on the functioning of children in families during the process of separation and divorce. The current state of knowledge illustrates the heterogeneous, long-term effects of the disintegration of the parents’ marriage, from temporary difficulties to phenomena that permanently disorganise the child’s life. The aim of the exploration is to analyse and describe selected factors that make it difficult for children to adapt to divorce, and to formulate guidelines for a mature separation. The presented research material is qualitative, narrative in nature, and has been prepared from the practice of working with parents using therapeutic support. Immature, confrontational patterns of ending the parents’ relationship can cause damage that is difficult to reverse. Experiencing a sense of loneliness, low mood, anxiety, regression, lack of trust, and even depression or various forms of self-destruction and permanent disorders — constitute the canon of possible consequences. Recognising the indissolubility of the parental relationship, charting a course to seek the integral participation of both parents can enable children to function more safely. An intentional, mature separation can cushion the negative effects of the disintegration of the child’s world. The essential condition is the survival of effective communication, which allows for establishing solutions to being a family in constant dialogue. In addition, the state of mutual contact cannot block the possibility of maintaining a future parental relationship. Methods and materials. Biographical method, notes from meetings with parents and (sometimes) children. Results and conclusion. Description of the conditions for separation that preserves the parental relationship.

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