Transformations of the Desired About the emotional pain of unhappy love
Transformations of the Desired About the emotional pain of unhappy love

Summary/Abstract: I will start (section 1) with a description of an intense emotional pain. To be more precise I will start with the first phase of this pain. It is about the pain we feel when something we have infinitely desired becomes impossible to attain. I will describe such a pain using the example of one-sided, unfulfilled love. This will be followed by an excursus: I will try to reconstruct this pain – though only in a simplistic and basic manner – in order to understand it psychoanalytically. Lacan’s concept of the objet petit a will play a role here.I will then (section 2) continue by using a phenomenological approach: I will try to describe some kind of second phase of the pain. The pain does not persist through hope and hopelessness forever. Instead, it starts the process of a drastic reconstruction of the self, a transformation causing us to suffer. Then, in the final step (section 3) the third phase of this movement is perceivable. In this phase we are suddenly able to look at what is happening in a completely new way. It is as if an optical illusion has shattered and, in its place, we are able to see the same things but with different eyes, thus bringing about the onset of something completely new in our world.

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