„Emotional defeats” of parents Cover Image

“Sconfitte emozionali” dei genitori
„Emotional defeats” of parents

Author(s): Janusz Mastalski
Subject(s): Family and social welfare
Published by: Wydawnictwo Naukowe Uniwersytetu Papieskiego Jana Pawła II w Krakowie
Keywords: parents; emotions; defeats; toxic tactics

Summary/Abstract: In a family all kinds of conflicts and problems occur that affect both the parents and their children. The conflicts which are especially painful are those related to the inability of parents to deal with their own emotions and feelings. In this article, after clarifying the main concepts, the author first discusses the typical features of parental emotions and feelings (creativity, proximity, intensity) in order to identify the reasons for “emotional defeats” (the inability to express emotions, the inability to recognize emotions, emotional liability, “getting stuck” in some emotion, harmful suppression of emotions, masking of one’s feelings, stress, fatigue, addiction). Secondly, the author describes their effects (codependency, emotional distance, weakening of emotional ties, superficiality, impaired communication, “internal emigration”, family identity crisis). At the end, he discusses toxic tactics in dealing with these defeats (suppression; avoidance; pretending they do not exist; transfer of emotions on others; resignation in coping with emotions). Consequentially, these tactics lead them to formulate remedies. A discussion of these solutions concludes the article.